OMG: I am a Labrador!

Regardless of the title of this post, please don’t read this thinking I have suddenly become very hairy with a tendency to drool and jump very high whenever someone says something half nice to me.

No, this title is all about my job as a lobbyist.

I always thought being a lobbyists made me have this mysterious and, dare I say it, intriguing job. After all, lobbyists wield this massive power, no?

But then again, a lot of my work consists in preparing dossiers, analysing lengthy consultation documents in order to produce even lengthier responses. As I am freelance, I obviously do this on behalf on clients (no one would do this as a hobby, believe me). Which means that, a lot of my time is also spent understanding my clients’ business, what matters to them and what doesn’t , what could impact them and what is less likely to do so, etc. In terms of drafting responses, this also implies a lot of back and forth of versions 1, 2, 3, N, final, Final2, etc.

I did not quite know how to qualify this process, until my husband brought back a toy for our new Labrador today, and I happened to read the description of what I would call an orange ball on the cardboard label attached to it (see picture below).

So the “thing-I-consider-an-orange-ball” has a name (it’s called Huck) and the guidelines for use are: float, bounce, chase, chew, repeat…with the additional guarantee that “We guarantee Huck against “Dog Damage”. A customer may return the toy to a local representative for a free one-time replacement”.

Hmmmm…Why does this sound so familiar? Wait a minute: float, bounce, chase, chew, repeat…that’s exactly what happens with every paper I write for a client... Oh my God: I’m a Labrador, and my every day deliverable in life is Huck, the “orange ball”! Just a clarification though, to any zealous client reading this: I don’t do one-time replacements (but then again I’ve noticed you tend to replace the Labrador rather than the ball anyway). Oh, and for anyone waiting for other labrador analogies such as wagging tails and dumb love for anyone feeding them, I’ll leave that to your imagination.

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